


Come Out With It

by Istealurfrenchfries



Category: In the Heights - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Coming Out, Hurt/Comfort, I live for protective big cousin Usnavi, M/M, drabble-ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 10:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11689965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Istealurfrenchfries/pseuds/Istealurfrenchfries
Summary: Sometimes Usnavi forgot that Sonny really was only fifteen.  That he was still just a kid.  A kid who never had parents or real role models besides Usnavi and perhaps Abuela Claudia, but a kid nonetheless.  And Usnavi, well...he always did his best, but he tended to get so wrapped up in the store and keeping a roof over their heads that he wasn’t always around.  Sonny had always been pretty self sustaining, but even the best working machines needed to be checked up on very once in awhile.---In which Sonny has something important to say, but he needs a little help getting there.





	Come Out With It

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually like posting stuff this short. This scene was originally just a drabble for Tumblr, but then I kinda liked it, so now it's here. We'll see if it actually stays or not.

Something was off with Sonny.  Something was really off.  The kid had been agitated and fidgety for days now.  He’d come to help Usnavi with the store, pause at random moments like he wanted to say something, and then resume whatever it was he’d been doing with a miserable expression.  Sonny was never like this.  But lately he’d been mopey and anxious and Usnavi had had enough.

“Alright, what is it?” he demanded, standing in front of Sonny from where he was seated on a bench they kept in the back room.  It was early in the morning.  They were at the store but had yet to open for the day just yet.  Sonny looked up with a perplexed expression.

“..What?” the younger asked, “What’s what?  I put all of the cups over on the counter like you wanted-”

“No, I mean, what is it with you?” Usnavi sighed, leaning against a shelf, “You’re actin’ all weird, Sonny.  I asked if someone was messing with you at school and you said no, so what the fuck is it?”

Usnavi watched as he froze and swallowed nervously.  Sonny could deny it all he wanted, but he truly was transparent.  

“Nothing, man.  I’m fine,” he deflected, but his voice came out almost an octave higher than it should’ve.

“Bullshit.”

Sonny started to wring his hands around each other, and Usnavi cocked his head to the side.  There it was - he was getting anxious again.  He watched him for a minute, watched as Sonny opened and closed his mouth a few times, then finally just gritted his teeth.  

“It’s just stupid.  And we got things to do anyway,” he eventually said uncertainly.  For once, he looked just as young as he really was.

Sometimes Usnavi forgot that Sonny really was only fifteen.  That he was still just a kid.  A kid who never had parents or real role models besides Usnavi and perhaps Abuela Claudia, but a kid nonetheless.  And Usnavi, well...he always did his best, but he tended to get so wrapped up in the store and keeping a roof over their heads that he wasn’t always around.  Sonny had always been pretty self sustaining, but even the best working machines needed to be checked up on very once in awhile.  

“Things can wait.  C’mere, Pobrecito,” Usnavi murmured, sitting down next to his little cousin.  Sonny held out stubborn for a moment, then suddenly sagged against his side, and Usnavi didn’t think about it as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  His breaths came out heavy, like he’d already given up before anything had been discussed.  His shoulders hunched dejectedly and he turned to hide his face in Usnavi’s shirt.  Sonny hadn’t acted like this since he was ten.  It was a disturbing sight to come from the normally upbeat cousin.   “Come on, what’s wrong?”

A pause.

“Sonny?”

“You’re gonna hate me, man,” came the quiet reply.  Usnavi scoffed.

“Vato, I’ve been stuck with you for almost fifteen years,” he said dismissively, “I didn’t kill you when you almost burned the entire store down playing with a lighter, so I think it’s safe to say that I won’t hate you now.”  Sonny gave a hint of a smile, just a tiny upturn of the corner of his mouth, and Usnavi considered it a victory.  

Whatever he did, if Sonny felt _this_ bad about it, then Usnavi really did doubt that he could be angry with him.  Sonny rarely apologized for anything.  Rarely got truly upset over anything.  Hell, the boy was normally the cheeriest person in the barrio.

“So, I think that...um.. _mierda_...I think,” he started to stammer.  Usnavi squeezed his shoulder.

“Out with it, Sonny.”

“I’m gay,” Sonny blurted, then froze up.  Usnavi felt him stiffen and start breathing even faster.  “I..I mean, I think?  I always see other dudes swooning over the girls and shit, and I don’t..get it?” he squeaked out.  Where it had been painfully hard and tedious to get Sonny to speak just a few moments before, he was talking quite fast now.  Words poured out in a desperate attempt to explain.  “Cause’ I should be like them but I’m not and honestly the idea makes me sick.  But I mean, I do feel that way, but just not for girls and it’s confusing and I shouldn’t and it’s wrong and I’m sorry and-”

“Kid, _breathe_.  Jesus,” Usnavi cut Sonny off before he could start turning blue with the lack of air.  They did not have the time for a hospital visit today.  “This is what’s got you so upset?  Sonny, I don’t _care_ if you’re gay.”

His little cousin looked at him as if he’d grown three heads.  Usnavi arched an eyebrow.  He’d been expecting something much worse than Sonny’s sexuality.  It didn’t make a difference to him.

“I’m sorry, S’navi,’ Sonny mumbled and hung his head, obviously not having registered Usnavi’s words.

“Hey, no, you don’t need to be sorry.  It’s fine,” he soothed, gathering Sonny tight against his side again.  The boy’s fingers grasped at his shirt, and all the tension that had been pent up in his lithe frame collapsed suddenly, like a snapped E-string on a violin.  “It’s all fine.”

They stayed like that for a bit.  Usnavi held his baby cousin and waited for his breathing to slow back down into something that was healthier.  When he was sure that Sonny wasn’t going to faint on him, he spoke.  

“Why’d you think I was gonna be mad?” he inquired.  He’d never intended for Sonny to be scared of him, ever.

“I dunno,” Sonny shrugged, “Just - no one in the barrio talks about this stuff, and I thought..I mean..” he sighed, “you’re my only family.  I didn’t want you to throw me out.”

Usnavi shook his head at the absurdity of that idea.  Sonny and his fucking abandonment issues, making him think stupid shit.  He could only imagine how tiring keeping all of this secret had been for him.  He'd never been good with secrets. 

“I’d never throw you out, Sonny,” he assured.  He sat up, abruptly changing the subject, “Now come on, we gotta open shop.”  

And so they went on as if nothing had occurred, except now that extra bounce was back in Sonny’s steps.  His smile came back.  His ridiculous comebacks and excuses returned.  

And, weeks later, when Sonny brought a boy to the apartment and introduced him as something decidedly more than a friend, Usnavi didn’t even skip a beat before threatening his boyfriend with death if he ever harmed his little cousin.

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be real, Pete is the boyfriend.


End file.
